When you receive a push-back or a rejection during a pay rise, using an open question to get the negotiation back on track is your go-to move. Summarise and feedback what you are hearing, to supercharge your impact.
In other blogs I have explained how a rejection or a push back can be used by your boss just to create some space for them to process what you have just asked for, or to let you know that they aren't yet convinced by the veracity of your pitch. Once you have that push back, an open question can get them talking and explaining to you their rationale or motivation for their position.
By listening intently and with curiosity to their response and seeking to understand the deep motivation behind what they have just said, you should be able to move the conversation into problem-solving mode. At this moment your curious tone is important because it communicates both that you are listening and that you care about hearing an answer. Your boss (or negotiating counter-party) will feel heard, which will encourage them to be more open and relaxed in response.
Often you may need more than one open question to get the conversation flowing. So identifying a few 'go-to' open questions before your negotiation is a good idea. A few of my favourites are: