As suggested by its name, nibbling is a negotiation tactic which involves making small, incremental requests or concessions in an attempt to gain advantage or benefit.
Nibbling often shows up in a negotiation after the main terms have been agreed and it can be an effective way to secure additional value out of a deal. A way to ‘sweeten the deal’. If both parties in a negotiation use nibbling at the same time, the tactic can help both sides to feel as though they are making progress and building the value in their deal.
However there comes a point when using the nibbling tactic too aggressively or too frequently can irritate the other party. Becoming frustrated, or causing frustration inevitably puts pressure on the relationship between the negotiating parties. This in turn, may lead to a situation one party questions the integrity of the original negotiation process or starts to distrust their negotiating counter-party. The best case scenario in such circumstances is that you erode trust in your relationship, the worst case scenario is that you lose your deal all together.
So it’s really important to consider the potential relationship downsides before using nibbling as a negotiation tactic.
When I teach people how to negotiate their pay and conditions, part of my approach is to encourage students to deliver their negotiation pitch (made up of all their Ask items) in the opening stages of the negotiation. This is so your boss gets a clear snapshot or overview of what the entire negotiation will be about. Once you have provided your pitch, time can then be taken with each item, without your boss feeling as though you are nibbling.
The reason I recommend this approach is so the underlying relationship between Employer and Employee remains completely respectful. In this context using nibbling tactics runs the risk that your boss will start to think that you are not being open (nibbling counters the open ‘put all your cards on the table’ approach) or that you are trying to take advantage of their goodwill. In a pay rise negotiation it is super important to look after your long-term relationship with your boss. Your overall objective should be to have your boss your personal champion for life. You want to be able to call on that person for years after you have left that role. In this context and with that focus in mind, nibbling as a tactic loses its attraction.
I do however recommend that you take a few nibbles when you are negotiating your pay and conditions for a new role. In this circumstance, once you have reached preferred candidate status and an offer has been made to you, your future employer will expect you to negotiate. It is a demonstration of your skill so never pass up the opportunity!
I recall recruiting a senior manager many years ago and had secured the interest of a candidate with outstanding skills and experience. We negotiated a remuneration package he was comfortable with (salary, super, flexible working hours and locations) and because the candidate would be relocating from overseas to take up the role, also added benefits in terms of relocation costs, temporary housing and introductory letters to a local bank manager. Now that sounds like quite a good deal huh? As the employer, it was in my interests to get him into the role as quickly and as smoothly as possible. Well he understood that he had all the leverage in this negotiation, so as I started to close out the deal, he asked for one more thing. A sign on bonus (paid for signing on the day) of ten thousand dollars.
Now in that moment I wasn’t at all annoyed with him. Truth be known, I was actually quite pleased that he nibbled the negotiation! He just showed me how well he could press advantage in a negotiation and I really needed those skills in my team. From a bosses perspective, I knew that over the next few years, that ten thousand would be negligible compared to the value he would create. I agreed saying I would now have to work him extra hard for that. We both had a laugh at this which grew the goodwill between the two of us. He was happy to get his bonus and I as the employer, got repaid in spades over the years we worked together. It was a total win/win.