How is it that that specific situations can take a sledgehammer to our personal levels of confidence? Even if overall you are happy and content and generally confident about where your life is heading, why is it that even the thought of some situations break us out into a sweaty mess?
In situations like asking for a pay rise from your boss, or receiving and negotiating a job offer, it sometimes feels like our confidence has just drained away. That in the moment that you need it the most, that it has headed for the hills. It is completely normal to feel wobbly in these situations because we feel we are being evaluated by someone else, that a judgement is coming our way and that wonderful amygdala of ours, (our reptilian brain) is freaking out and telling us we’re about to be eaten by a tiger.
You can quieten your inner saboteur by being super prepared, doing your research ahead of time and getting some practice in. These activities will help you to create a path for what it will subsequently become. They help you to imagine and visualise the negotiation so the preparation serves to settle down amygdala driven anxiety about being eaten by a tiger, because your plans will be imagining something more realistic and a whole lot less frightening.